I always feel stressed. It's getting really hard to cope.. (story inside)?
Posted: December 27th, 2010 | Author: admin | Filed under: Questions | Tags: 4th quarter, cell phone, cousin, dad, facebook, god, guy friends, joke, late at night, medicine, night time, one of my best friends, parents, self injury, shoulders, sports, stress | 4 Comments »So, just in the past few months, I have had 6 people tell me they were suicidal. One of them texted me saying she had a knife, and I talked her out of it. I also talked this other girl out of it on the spot. I had one of my guy friends randomly joke about it.. and I tried to talk to him and it turns out he is suicidal. It’s really really complicated, but I don’t think he would benefit from me telling anyone about it. One of my best friends told me that she had been suicidal and it got me really worried, but not she is on medicine and is doing better. My cousin (who is my age and in my class) had her status on facebook as something like "tell my sister that I will miss her and tell my other sister that she won’t have to worry after tonight." I freaked out and called her house (she doesn’t have a cell phone), and her dad answered. He insisted it was too late at night to talk to her, so I had to tell him what she wrote. She had tried that night, but didn’t succeed, thank God!
And I have had many people tell me that they cut themselves. I’m not sure what to do in this situation because I have struggled with self injury myself. I have been extremely stressed in the 4th quarter. My parents expect straight A’s and I’m in so many sports I felt like I didn’t have enough time to get everything done. I managed to get all A’s and one B, and now school’s out.
I thought I would feel so much better with that enormous amount of stress on my shoulders, but I don’t. I always feel stressed. People tell me all their problems.. I know secrets about everyone. One girl told me she was raped by her dad when she was younger (don’t worry, her dad is in jail and can’t get to her now), another girl told me she was bisexual, etc.
I love to help people, but all this stress is killing me. The self injury is getting worse and I don’t feel like I even control it anymore. Night time is really bad, because physically, I have no energy, but my mind is always wide awake and I am forced to stay up and be alone with my thoughts. It’s a long story, but I have a lot to think about. I get flashbacks to some past abuse situations, and I physically feel myself cringe.
Little things trip memories off, and I just have to be alone. It sends me into depression and I feel like I lose my ability to communicate with people properly. One time I went to the bathroom in homeroom just to be alone and I ended up hurting myself with a pin that was in my pocket. Why? I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I just always feel confused.
And don’t be too harsh, I’m only 14..
Wow, that’s a lot for a 14 year old to go through. First off thank you for helping these people out as much as you have. Don’t forget you need some sort of help too. I would say talk to your parent(s) and maybe see a professional you can maybe talk to that can give you the correct feedback.
Stop hurting yourself, you know it’s not good, you’re helping others from doing it when you’re doing it yourself. Quit hurting yourself and be strong. It’s easy to get lost sometimes…you just have to talk to someone that will know what to say and how to fix it.
Best of luck to you…..see me as your friend telling you to stop hurting yourself. Take my advise like others take yours.
It really does sound like you have a lot on your mind. And it’s great that people come to you for help and support, it speaks a lot about your character. But, it sounds like you have some problems of your own, and you have to help yourself before you can help others. You need to tell someone about your problems, and I don’t mean all of the stuff people tell you. I mean YOUR problems. You cutting yourself. Your depression. At least tell your parents that you need to see someone.
Oh my gosh. You’re poor thing. This must be a tough time to go through, but just try to calm down. Getting worked up over anything big or small is not going to help the situation. What you need to do is work on getting your friends some help, first and foremost. It seems like you are great person, and a person that they turn to in their time of need. However, it can only go so far. At first most of your friends will not want to get any type of help because they are in denial. All you can do is to guide them into that direction.
Also, stay on top of things, but don’t let it get under your skin. If someone is suicidal they obviously have major problems that need to be addressed and worked on. It’s not as easy as saying "No don’t do it." It may work once, it may work twice; but it will not work forever. Also try your best to figure out why they are suicidal in the first place. Being a teenager is probably one of the most rewarding, yet the toughest part of life. There is so much fun in being a teenager, but at the same time it’s when most people find out who they really are. Everyone has different aspects of their lives that stresses them out, and it’s not good for anyone to feel that way.
So what I want you to do is:
1)Calm down, and take a deep breath. Getting yourself worked up isn’t going to solve anything.
2)Find out why your friends are suicidal. Keep doing what you are doing, and try to keep them from doing the obvious.
3)Try to find ways to get them help. Preferable Professional help. Tell a parent, tell your guidance counseler, that’s what they are there for.
I wish you all the best! I hope everything works out!
Sounds like you seriously need to step back from all of your friends chaos and drama and focus on yourself and your own needs, at least for now.
Or just be s sounding board and let their problems roll off your back. Don’t absorb the negativity, it’s bringing you down. It would bring anybody down. Take care of yourself.